It seems that I can't sleep at the moment. My mind buzzing like a hive, seeming incapable of silence, or even peace for that matter. Although I have made a pact with myself to immediately trash the spam that inevitably litters my inbox of thoughts with negative banter. No More! I don't have time for this shit anymore, regrets, doubts, fears, shortcomings,failure, insecurity these words are poison to me now. I have the serum for these ills,a smile that represents wisdom for these words, a smile that says " Hey Buddy, I recognize you, Nope not this time!". From this moment on I reject those seeds, from the soil of my mind, they will not be cultivated to grow into well groomed weeds that become and eyesore in my garden of thoughts. These weeds will be whacked at first sight, and those plots will be used to nurture divine thoughts that blossom into divine action!
I forgive myself! I do! I've pulled the plug in the sink of despair, and I smile, again;)as I watch the old me , and my old mind; with those old thoughts swirl down the drain, bye bye! For the first time in my life (truly) , A man inside and out is what I wanna be,will be! that's not something I just would like to call myself, and as visions of my father scroll like a side show in my brain, I will be a better man than he was, and he was a damn fine example of one too, most of the time ;0)I forgive myself for not being where I think I should be in life. I forgive myself for my failures. I forgive myself for time's when I've quit.I forgive myself for lying, stealing , cheating. I forgive myself for not loving wholeheartedly. I forgive myself for being undisciplined at times. I forgive myself for being naive. I forgive myself for not loving me. I forgive myself for procrastination. I forgive myself for being insecure! Fuck that No More ! those days are gone! I've vowed recently for the 100th time to be the best version of myself , but finally those words will be true, and I can wait for the process that this metamorphosis will take. I embrace the pain,fear,and other attributes of this change, I will conquer, I will be me De Shon, continuing to chisel away at my masterpiece, sculpted in the image of God. I have embraced my divinity, and with God's love and guidance, I will soar!
Monday, February 28, 2011
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