Gaining momentum, revving up the engine, escaped from that prison, where fears a religion, and peers hard of hearin, you just wanna share what your feeling, show glimpses of my soul, no need for the probe, unless it's a story better yet untold, that only I'll know, for a while yo, I was wild though, Cali, calmed my style slow, sit back let that style go, switched it, took a deep breath wow bro, the view nitro, still smoke bogies, crown and rose's for the OG, tote speech, as bait when I'm fishing for opportunity, plugged into the matrix, these tricks ain't new to me!

Just though I'd let the brain throw something together, finger freestyle, trying to nurture my creative side again, it used to be so easy, and again it will be when I capture that frequency again, I get it in small wattage's now, and I can feel it building, like a wave, I'm ready to ride that bitch!  Trying to start listening to more and more new music, I find myself writing down the names of all new bands I catch wind of so I won't forget, went over a friend of Ian's how J, and his roomie makes tracks.   He actually had a couple of solid instrumentals, I ran an album concept that I've been sitting on for years by him,and he likes it, I want full moguldom, and it 's actually at my fingertips, I've just gottta fully embrace the fact that my life is going to be crazy, hectic, and full of do's , but it's awesome, and I love it, it's th life I want, so let's do this.  I've got a meeting with Rich this weekend, Axtion Mag, he wants me to put a show together fort him, me!, just dropped it right in my lap, and he's got equipment , JAH( yes JAH), I like that name for GOD, anyway he is fucking awesome, still haven't put a finger on a definition for my spirituality, but I prey daily, and talk to JAH constantly, so, I'm loving life right now though, all adversity is being embraced, struggle is welcome, I get stronger everyday in all aspects of self, I will attract whatever I desire, and my life will be what I make it , until next time , PEACE!

Progress Bitches!

These last few days have been awesome!  I've started to work a new gig, JAH IS AWESOME BTW!  not exactly my cup of tea but it's still a cool ass set to be on.  I'm currently a field PA on the set of Tough Enough which is the WWF 's reality show for their next big wrestling superstar, these motherfuckers are hilarious, but it's also inspiring to see someone going after their dreams, annnddd tolerate all of the bullshit that reality competition shows put one through!  Plus I'm also back on set, it's home where I love to be right in the mix, walkie in my ear running aroung, soaking up everything my mind can sponge.  One of the AD's has left so today I was informed that the talent has requested me to be their liason to the producers , directors etc.! What! I've only been on set for 3 days prior to today , and already I've made an outstanding impression.  Getting more and more secure in my new skin,  the confidence recognition of accepting the demeanor of manhood, masculine disposition , is very empowering! I love it!  I 've taken responsibility of the fact that my  life to date has been what I've made it, my shortcomings, and failures only rest on my shoulders, and it's a superb feeling to truly embrace the idea that my life is what I choose to make it! I direct my own documentary,  recorded through the lens of my eyes, and edited by my mind! And 'm not going to lie alot of scenes are being deleted for better footage ha!

I'm enjoying writing at this moment , it's fairly freeing to allow these words to spill out of my mind, and por through my fingers, soaking the keyboard with my thoughts.  I'm in the process of transforming spiritually first, then mentally, and the result has been literally a physical transformation, I'm down 15 lbs this year!  I've lost this weight before too, but it always comes back in times of depression and sorrow, I have a feeling those days are over.  I've made another fresh start, and although I've stumbled out of the gate a bit, it seems I've found my stride, and now I've got my eyes on winning this race , and not just finishing it!

I Forgive Me!

It seems that I can't sleep at the moment. My mind buzzing like a hive, seeming incapable of silence, or even peace for that matter. Although I have made a pact with myself to immediately trash the spam that inevitably litters my inbox of thoughts with negative banter. No More! I don't have time for this shit anymore, regrets, doubts, fears, shortcomings,failure, insecurity these words are poison to me now. I have the serum for these ills,a smile that represents wisdom for these words, a smile that says " Hey Buddy, I recognize you, Nope not this time!". From this moment on I reject those seeds, from the soil of my mind, they will not be cultivated to grow into well groomed weeds that become and eyesore in my garden of thoughts. These weeds will be whacked at first sight, and those plots will be used to nurture divine thoughts that blossom into divine action!

I forgive myself! I do! I've pulled the plug in the sink of despair, and I smile, again;)as I watch the old me , and my old mind; with those old thoughts swirl down the drain, bye bye! For the first time in my life (truly) , A man inside and out is what I wanna be,will be! that's not something I just would like to call myself, and as visions of my father scroll like a side show in my brain, I will be a better man than he was, and he was a damn fine example of one too, most of the time ;0)I forgive myself for not being where I think I should be in life. I forgive myself for my failures. I forgive myself for time's when I've quit.I forgive myself for lying, stealing , cheating. I forgive myself for not loving wholeheartedly. I forgive myself for being undisciplined at times. I forgive myself for being naive. I forgive myself for not loving me. I forgive myself for procrastination. I forgive myself for being insecure! Fuck that No More ! those days are gone! I've vowed recently for the 100th time to be the best version of myself , but finally those words will be true, and I can wait for the process that this metamorphosis will take. I embrace the pain,fear,and other attributes of this change, I will conquer, I will be me De Shon, continuing to chisel away at my masterpiece, sculpted in the image of God. I have embraced my divinity, and with God's love and guidance, I will soar!